Satisfaction is the death of desire

Yesterday was good I watched californiacation the tv show and now I’m getting through season two. I laid around with Shannon on the couch and had lunch with my grandparents. We went to noodles today I have a date with Scott Aller at the very same noodles but it’s good because I have a couple of questions I have to ask him that I wanted to know. I feel like he’s the man to ask at least to get started. I hope we can develop a long relationship that we can work together to make money on. It makes me very excited and I get the feeling this will be very good for both of our careers. If everything comes through I will be able to make plenty of money in the music industry and I need to get the flow of making music videos like the real deal. I need to look at how people went about it in the first place. My next step is how. How do I make a music video? Who does Scott know that would I would be able to examine the way they went about making a music video. There has to be several different methods and there’s never one way to do something. 100,000. Keep it in mind. What are you here for?

Today wasn't nearly as productive as I thought it would be only because i had a mere glimpse of a spectacular goal setting work shop. A revelation that would give me motivation to do anything I wanted in life. however this was not the case. why does my mind change so drastically from one decision the the next? i feel like I could barley count on all my fingers how many times I change my mind. Shannon’s right I am a very indecisive person when It comes to making a move. I just see if from different angles so many times that I get off track and start heading in different directions. i hope shannon is happy with our relationship. I get the feeling that I start being a michael and she gets annoyed at who i am and what I like to do. I don't give her enough attention. She makes sacrifices everyday to be with me and when I get home I don't even spend time with her. I just have so many things on my mind and if i don't do something about it i might loose it forever. On the other hand, i might loose her forever. Life is so complicated. Your basking in the sun one minute and your rotting in shadow deaf the next. I hope I take full advantage of my choices and circumstances in this time of my life. I can't afford to give up now. I'm happy with what i've chosen and I am an able minded individual. A strategist who has the world at my fingertips. I am blessed with the will of seven horses pulling the gold of a high nobleman. The faster I pull it the more I will reap the rewards of life. Give me strength lord to do the things that need to be done. Let me see that I have made the right decisions and give me hope for the future so that I may strive to succeed and accomplish my goals. Help me to feel my goals becoming more prevalent in my life. Give me energy to keep going because I know wheat awaits me. Thank you universe for giving me this wonderful apartment and good roommates. A beautiful girlfriend and a wonderful family. I am very fortunate to live in the US where it truly is the land of opportunity. Give me peace when I am in need and lead me not into temptation but deliver me power strength and wisdom for ever and ever.

for what it's worth

Today was well worth getting up. me and shannon had a fight but we hopefully worked it out but there may be lingering thoughts about life and we seem to fight about the same stuff al the time. I did have a wonderful time shooting on the set of what seems to be a very promising director. he needs to get the pre production scene down before he shoots so he can be more efficient but I like his style and his character and he has the right attitude for this business. I keep talking to samantha fennel. I sometimes think she was my high school sweet heart that i never got to spend time with. I was the one who called it off with her but not for the reasons of her but because i didn't know what i wanted. I really wish I could take her out on a date but that would be totally against the rules because she knows that I’m dating shannon and she has a lot of pictures on her facebook of her hanging out with kate Quinn so I’m sure she still has a lot in common with will and his family. I sometimes wonder if kate quinn had her baby? tomorrow I start my first day as an adult. I think I wont go back to school. I scared but I believe that anything is possible and it might go against everything that people have told me but i want to re invent my life and prove to myself that success is possible. I need to find peace with what I need to do with my life and I should be able to attain my goals or at least take a good stab at them. I will write down a tado list for the day and then work on my long term goals and how I plan to accomplish them. The steps that I will need and a plan to attract them into my life. these goals include working out money gifts people that i want to influence me and what I plan to accomplish in the years to come. Now is the time. my life has changed. what i do from now on determines where my life will go. be guided to be who ever you want to be. let the universe show you who you really are. meditate discover and determine your own future.